


so many ways to be brave, and i chose you

by Torchicpox



Category: Helix Waltz (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, F/F, May/December Relationship, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21846862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torchicpox/pseuds/Torchicpox
Summary: Tilla thought no one deserved Magda. But Magda chose her anyway.
Relationships: Magda Ellenstein/Tilla Jorcastle, Tilla Jorcastle & Gonzalo Jorcastle
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	so many ways to be brave, and i chose you

The world changes, in slow incremental waves. Before, Tilla would wake up with a cold space where a husband, no matter how unfaithful he is, is supposed to lay. Now, Tilla wakes up with a hand on her hips and a cold nose in the crook of her neck, feeling both fond and disoriented.

She's not sure what happened. How she somehow got around with marrying another woman, and one half her age. It probably had something to do with Magda's intoxicating kisses and her half-jokes for Tilla to make an honest woman out of her.

Or it could have something to do with the first time Magda managed to lead her back to the dance floor, leading her so confidently with a hand in the small of her back, and her voice.

By the gods, her voice, Tilla imagines people would bend over backwards for Magda every time she uses that voice. "Imagine if you could hold me, if I could hold you, anytime, to each of these boring balls."

At that, Tilla had felt something inside of her surge at that, dark and wanting. To place her hands where everyone can see, to claim possession over this girl who would be better suited to marry her son rather than waste time with her.

That time, common sense reigned her in, and she had laughed it off. This is Magda, who's younger than even her own sons. This is Magda, who looked at her full of admiration as she clutched the copy of a book she will never ever publish to the mass. This is Magda, who's the epitome of the good she wished she could have kept as she danced the Finsel balls.

-

She didn't understand the rage which took over her when the Sakan brat kneeled for Magda's hand in marriage, right in front of all the Senate to see. That Magda had managed to gain the Sakan's blessing, she wasn't surprised. But the fact that someone else had managed to see Magda's worth and would like to possess her for themselves sent her into a blind panic unlike any other.

Tilla had called her son that night, demanded her son to propose to Magda lest she was - _(taken, stolen, beside anybody else but her)_

She believed the word she had used was 'married to such an unbecoming male specimen such as Viscount Juven Sakan and his womanizing ways'. She knew how men like Juven Sakan lives, and she wouldn't let Magda know the same hurt she knew from the man she had thought she love.

Her frustration peaked when Gonzalo kept refusing, with reasons she found to be more and more ridiculous, that she snapped. Magda's perfect, she would be the daughter she never had, the person who would make the gaping emptiness in the Jorcastle manor ( _her heart_ ) go away.

Gonzalo had snapped back just as hard. That yes, Magda is perfect. Yes, she is kind. And beautiful. Has impeccable manners. Is the perfect marriage candidate.

Just not for him. He'd looked at her, with a tired and pitying which knocked the breath out of her. "Don't you see, Mother?"

-

"Duchess, why have you came here?"

It's Magda, without the makeup and the dresses, looking haggard as Tilla wasted no time in coming to the Ellenstein's manor.

She's beautiful, Tilla realized achingly. Young and beautiful and suddenly all the doubts on why no one deserve Magda resurfaced. Not even her.

"Tilla?"

But then Magda called out her name, which no one had ever done apart from her late husband. That was so long ago. Nowadays she's just Duchess, no less, but also no more.

Having her name called out like that, the words poured out of her.

"Don't marry him," it had came out as more a plead than what she would have liked. "I-"

"He doesn't deserve you. Tomorrow," She choked, feeling bile at the words which came out next, "Tomorrow Gonzalo will ask for your hand in marriage. The Jorcastles will treat you well. Better than the Sakans will."

Magda had looked taken aback for a moment, before her expression shuttered and she took back her hand which was in Tilla's hold. The hand which retreated felt like her heart breaking all over again, as the husband she loves(had loved) held a green-eyed child and pleaded her to take it as her own.

Magda's voice was quiet, "Duchess, you don't have to worry. I didn't accept Viscount Sakan's marriage proposal."

She should felt relief. _She should._

"But I won't accept the Jorcastle's offer for my hand as well."

_Why?_

She would have asked, if she didn't know the answer from her own son just hours before.

Magda seemed to know what she wanted to ask though.

"But I'll gladly accept yours, if you would only ask," she said, as her lips touched Tilla's in a question.

_Would you? Ask me? Have me? Love me? Just as I do you?_

When Tilla kissed back, it was an answer. Yes. _Yes, yes, yes._

-

At their marriage, Tilla had blushed, as it had been so long ago that she wore such a pure white dress. Magda laughed at that and kissed her red cheeks, looking so happy that Tilla decided that this is the expression that Magda should always make. The one she would do anything in her power for.

"Remember when I asked you to imagine if we could hold each other, anytime, everywhere?"

She did. It felt like a conversation from ages ago.

"Now it's no longer an imagination."

**Author's Note:**

> Juven proposing is just a ploy he and Magda cooked up, because Magda is in no way as pure as Tilla had left herself to believe.


End file.
